Poems of Pandemic Days by Alice Curley

Careful with the heart
Of a chessmaster
She knows every version
Of how you can hurt her
She is ready for them
Seeing your end game
Before it unfolds
She will pretend
She does not know
As she forces you into
Her stalemate
Breaking your heart too

A reasonable person
Would not miss him
Every day like this
She told herself
As she wrote messages
She would never send
Imagined messages
He would never send
Asking her heart
Had their love even existed
In the way she recalled
Was he worth missing
At all

She walked away
From a toxic vampire
Proud of her choice
She stood tall
Then as days rolled by
Loneliness crept in
Residual toxicity
Haunting her still
Because of him

Darkness and light
Are written about
Often and much
I prefer the gray
When life is okay
Just the regular
Nothing special
Every day days

In the cool quiet corners
Of a mysterious night
Stars leant their twinkle
To restore the sight
Of a broken hearted dreamer
Close to giving up her fight
The stars promise of the dawn
Set her soul right

Trapped behind the wall
I built around myself
With no way out
I did not see the door
Until you knocked

A whirlwind of unspoken words
Danced between their hearts
Fear and uncertainty won out
Those three little giant words
Never stood a chance

I wanted so badly
For you to be in love with me
I thought about it day and night
As though my thoughts
Could change your heart

Keep an eye out for sparklers
Kind spirits floating all around
Their radiance and grace
Light our paths on dark days

Sensitive souls
With invisible scars
Whoever you are
However you are
You got you this far
Keep going

You are not a failure
If you decide to turn around
Your current path
May not be your destiny
If the road feels wrong
You can change direction
Find the destination
Meant for you

In the middle of the darkness
Of a quiet winter night
She felt the warmth
Of a memory of a wish
Finally coming true

The #text generation
Assigns too much weight
To a ding of a phone
Mind boggling rules
Who texted who first
How long was the gap
Careful with emojis
Constant checking
Waiting for the first I love you
Without asking
What weight would it carry
Sent over text

Twinkling blue eyes
A hysterical genius
A heartfelt actor
Brought us to tears
Your infections energy
Lighting us up
Our own humanity
Revealed to us
With your vulnerability
Sitting on a park bench
Teaching us lessons
Granting us wishes
Setting our souls on fire

She had never in her life
Asked the simple question
What do I want?
Too busy with what she had to do
What others needed her to do
It felt foreign and almost selfish
To gaze into the unknown
I do not know
Ringing in her ears
It was time to find out

Her mind was haunted
By unexpected music
Only she could hear

Clinging to the key
Your heart in a cage
Studying the lock
Freedom beckons
Overruled by fear
Love can never get out

When you find yourself
Worrying what others think
Wanting to live your life for them
To save yourself from judgment
Please remember
No one is preoccupied
With your life as much as you
Live the life you want to

He claimed to want #love
As he complained
He was too busy
To go find it
He claimed to want love
As he ignored texts
To schedule dates
He claimed to want love
While finding fault
In every potential
Romantic partner
He was really in love
With not finding love

This is for those
Trying to keep their chin up
Trying to find the positive
Trying to stay connected
Forging their way through
Who do not tell a soul
How much they are suffering
For a mountain of reasons
Know that you are not alone

I became a #poet
When daily life
Defied explanation
Unfathomable
It all flowed out
In a million ways
From flowery love poems
To Hemingway prose
That was close enough
A standalone quote
Wading my way through
Our nightmare
I found #poetry
To be
The great escape
I needed

I was entirely sure
Everything was fine
Until I missed you
In a way I could not name

Keep speaking up
Even when no one
Listens to you
Keep speaking up
Especially when you know
You will never be heard
Speak with lost hope and defeat
Someone will hear it
Your broken voice
Will ring loudly
Keep speaking up
Until you are heard

Wait
The dawn will break
No matter how dark the night
Even if you have lost your grasp
To swirling thoughts and tears
Forgetting who can help or how
I ask you one motionless favor
Sit and wait for the morning light

Your fear is winning
He told his fading friend
You must open your eyes
Do not disintegrate
In your hiding
Stay awake
Overwhelming grief
Is inescapable
Even if you lock
Your heart away
You will mourn
The life you would
Have had if you dared
To love

She found her imagination
Stalled by anxiety
Muted by depression
Silenced by insomnia
In her disappointment
She put down her pen
Took an exhausted breath
Decided just this once
To give herself permission
To go to bed and dream
Away the day

No love #poems
His teacher said sternly
You must learn
To write about other things
Leaving him at his desk
Twiddling his pencil
Staring out the window
Trying to think
Of what to write
The trouble was
He was in love
With life

Channel surf and stumble across a new movie
Listen to the full CD and fall in love with the filler
Flip through the pages of library books
Find one that speaks to you
Spend a rainy Sunday afternoon
Making artistic discoveries
The old fashioned way

He was unprepared
For a heart like hers
It changed his

She was unafraid
Of the dark murky lagoon
She saw no creatures there
It appeared too dirty
To take a swim in it
She turned to walk away
A large scaly webbed hand
Wrapped around her ankle
As she let out a scream
No one would hear