Poems of Pandemic Days by Alice Curley

You have no more grounds

To assume he loves you

Than you do to assume

He does not

I did not know
I loved him
Until he broke my heart

She never realized
She was in love on time
Relationships were lost
From her not knowing
She was in love with him
Until a year after they faded

A life of perseverance
Is a life well lived
You have seen the dark
You have found the light
You have been wounded
You have healed yourself
You have lost and won
Endured highs and lows
You have lived a life
You fiercely loved
You never stopped
Fighting for it

She thought of him constantly
She forgot he did not know that
She assumed he did not love her
Until she realized she forgot
To tell him she loved him
In more than just her thoughts

I became a poet
When daily life
Defied explanation
Unfathomable
It all flowed out
In a million ways
From flowery love poems
To Hemingway prose
That was close enough
A standalone quote
Wading my way through
Our nightmare
I found poetry
To be
The great escape
I needed

To be
That is the answer
In this waking dream
Until tomorrow comes
Without sound and fury
May we live too wisely
As the band plays on
Until the dawn breaks
Midsummer as we like it
In life one never knows
What reality may come

The perfectionistic writer
Stared at her blank screen
Paralyzed
The magic
The music
The love
The pain
The longing
The wisdom
The kindness
The imaginings
Of her heart and mind
Never made it
To the page
The breathtaking beauty
Of her imperfection
Lost

When he offered her help
She wanted to collapse in his arms
With relief and gratitude
Instead she smiled through weary eyes
Telling him it was fine
She did not need any help
Even though it was the greatest
Saddest lie she had ever told

Three little words
I miss you
I love you
Impossible to say

Write not for your critics
Real or imagined
Write for the people
Who needs your words
To find inspiration
To gain relief
To feel less alone
To make it through
Their days
Their lives

Love is not a transaction
I am not keeping score
Of who loves who more
She said through irate tears
Stop tallying up my mistakes
Stop blaming me for you
Before his routine apology
She grabbed her purse
Pocketed her keys and left

Tragedy struck
Friends and family
Swarmed around her
Constant support
Day and night
Gradually time went on
Their lives moved on
The dust had settled
It all faded for them
Her grief still shouting
Loudly in her ears
No one checking up on her
Not anymore

Stay brave
On the hard days
On the dark days
On the long days
They are your days
You have the power
To transform

Cutting ties is not easy
When tinged with faint hopes
You did not even know were there
The sting eased by a golden gift
Your self-respect

Love affairs do not
Fit in neat packages
A touch of romance exists
In beautiful friendships
Yet is deemed not enough
Looking at each other
Eyes sparking like diamonds
Between two unique souls
With nothing to prove
To anyone but each other
This too is true love
I promise

A harvest moon
Lit the cemetery
Just enough
For the girl to see
Ghosts waltzing
To the music
Of their lives

He loved her
In tiny undetectable ways
His heart singing
His love reverberating
His sparking eyes
Beaming full of love
When a diamond
Graced her finger
He cried out
How could you
I loved you
She offered a puzzled
I am sorry
I could not hear
Love in your silence

Careful with the heart
Of a chessmaster
She knows every version
Of how you can hurt her
She is ready for them
Seeing your end game
Before it unfolds
She will pretend
She does not know
As she forces you into
Her stalemate
Breaking your heart too

A reasonable person
Would not miss him
Every day like this
She told herself
As she wrote messages
She would never send
Imagined messages
He would never send
Asking her heart
Had their love even existed
In the way she recalled
Was he worth missing
At all

She walked away
From a toxic vampire
Proud of her choice
She stood tall
Then as days rolled by
Loneliness crept in
Residual toxicity
Haunting her still
Because of him

Darkness and light
Are written about
Often and much
I prefer the gray
When life is okay
Just the regular
Nothing special
Every day days

In the cool quiet corners
Of a mysterious night
Stars leant their twinkle
To restore the sight
Of a broken hearted dreamer
Close to giving up her fight
The stars promise of the dawn
Set her soul right

Trapped behind the wall
I built around myself
With no way out
I did not see the door
Until you knocked

A whirlwind of unspoken words
Danced between their hearts
Fear and uncertainty won out
Those three little giant words
Never stood a chance

I wanted so badly
For you to be in love with me
I thought about it day and night
As though my thoughts
Could change your heart

Keep an eye out for sparklers
Kind spirits floating all around
Their radiance and grace
Light our paths on dark days

Sensitive souls
With invisible scars
Whoever you are
However you are
You got you this far
Keep going

You are not a failure
If you decide to turn around
Your current path
May not be your destiny
If the road feels wrong
You can change direction
Find the destination
Meant for you

In the middle of the darkness
Of a quiet winter night
She felt the warmth
Of a memory of a wish
Finally coming true