I did not realize
I was only your footnote
You were my favorite book

I miss your contagious laughter
I dream of the day
I will hear it again
Across a crowded room

Certain she would fail her exams
She sought solace on a walk

She landed in a candy store
Full of her favorite childhood treats

She left with a smile
Off for a nap full of sugar plum dreams

Certain to awaken with a clear mind ready to study effortlessly

She was a frightening villain
Threatening my happiness
Making my days dreadful
Dulling my glimmering hope
Until it slowly dawned on me
She was just a cruel person full of misery
I would no longer join her in it
She lost her power over me

Do not let a bad day
Ruin a good night
Awaiting to happen

He was a mystery
Always changing his stories
Hiding in plain sight

Certain you will fail
Doubting your abilities
Too paralyzed to go on
Prove yourself wrong

No one could explain
How she had survived
On the wings of angels
She quietly replied

I will not give
You my heart
At the cost
Of my sanity

Longing to slosh
Frozen lemonade
Around with my straw
Beside friends in June

I will meet the ocean again
Waves crashing
Freezing cold water
I will blissfully jump in
I wish I knew when

Meet me at midnight
At the park by the oak tree
To relive our youth

My heart betrayed
Me with a flutter
I wanted to hate him

Pressure was mounting
Her depression gripping her
Alone in her dorm

I am not a gifted chess player
I do not aspire to be a master
I play for my love of the game

She was cold
To hold back
Her warm tears

Not a single soul
Will harbor nostalgia
For the year 2020

Her eye shadow was full of glitter
Masking the sadness in her heart
Everyone at the party adored her
Except the one person missing
He was once always by her side
She did not need glitter then
His love made her radiant as the sun

How would his family survive
A bleak and impoverished winter
The weight of it plagued him daily
He felt strained beyond measure
When his daughter smiled at him
She was too young to understand
His greatest responsibility
Was to keep it that way

I hope one day
A young child
Will ask me
What a lockdown is
Never having
Lived through one

Trapped by loneliness
An unsolvable puzzle
I am in pieces

Castles were built for kings
Queens are built to run them
To live happily ever after

Nothing is more
Honest in life
Than happy tears

She stood on a small patch of prairie
Miles away from anyone else in every direction
Weeping with gratitude for her freedom
She shook with fear
She did not know her way back home

She removed books
From her shelves
To alphabetize
To distract her
Broken heart

I resigned long ago
From the game
Of guessing
What is to come
I know nothing
Beyond one moment
Following another
That is all we have

I had never seen
Her talons before
That fateful night

Her fear
Of being
Labeled
Negative
Outweighed
Her desire
To speak her
Authentic truth
In her silence
A great artist
Was lost to the world

She imagined
In her dreams
She could breathe
In a tropical breeze
It kept her going
Sometimes

I will double it
His integrity waivered
Could he turn it down

She took her final bow
From center stage
When she was twelve

Few possess his skill
For dodging questions
He dislikes answering

She will not let on
Give her permission to feel
By saying it first

I promise she does not know
Tell her how you feel or lose
What you never got to have

Will you please tell me
If it hurts when you miss me
Like when I miss you

You pushed me away
Your angry sad tears told me
I tried hared not to

Floating between
Friendship and love
Someone has to decide

Working up the nerve
To say we instead of I
To be a couple

She created
Her own miracle
By transforming
Who she was

The key to creativity is not judging what doesn’t exist yet

It’s possible for two people to help each other, just by being who they are

All great creations were once “just an idea”

Be the exception to the rule or make a new rule

Make today a day you want to remember

Never leave home without a pen

She created
Her own miracle
By transforming
Who she was

A grinch of a year
Great strength and courage required
Brave hearts seeking hope

When all else is lost
Hope will knock on your closed door
Have faith and answer

Find Zuzu’s petals
Still in your worn out pocket
This nightmare will end

Anxiety is the spokesperson
For every feeling
You try to shrug away

It brings me to tears
His singing O Holy Night
Hearing the divine

Trying to trust you
Though history cautions me
And still I love you

I fell asleep knowing
You loved me and I woke up
Certain I was wrong

To lose is to win
For you will learn from losing
Time to play again

Wait
The dawn will break
No matter how dark the night
Even if you have lost your grasp
To swirling thoughts and tears
Forgetting who can help or how
I ask you one motionless favor
Sit and wait for the morning light

To the moon and back
Was all she could manage
To say to him in return
I love you was too scary
Too sacred in her book
Only to be said when
No other string of words
Could capture their truth

strange days
of riding
uncertain
waves
of sadness

Rejection is temporary.

The true measure of a man
Is how he treats you
When you are helpless

While you were
Playing it cool
He was swimming
In your rejection
He had to give up
You claim he ghosted you
He never cared for you
He never showed it
You will realize later
You mislead him
By faking indifference
So afraid he would
Break your heart
You broke your own

If you are uncertain
If he loves you or not
Look at how much
Of his time he gives you
You cannot get time back
If he gives it to you
With his whole heart
You can trust in his love

Do not listen
To your own
Hidden stories
As to why you
Are unlovable
Just let yourself
Believe you can be
Love will find you

No one knew
Her full story
Her life was
Not a linear
Narrative
Her life always
Zig zagging
Starting over
A never ending
Metamorphosis
Leaving her alone
Just the way
She wanted
She believed
Most days

In prayer
No context
Is required
Even if you
Alone hear
Your words
Of a higher
Power does
It is known
Why you are
Asking for help

Drinking cranberry juice
Instead of wine
At a Christmas party
Starting my sobriety

A boy and his dog
Share the purest truest love
I have ever seen

Take my hand
Stay brave
My friend

Something struck a chord
Floodgates opened
Damn it to hell
All the years
Of hidden words
Suddenly flowing
To say exactly
What I always
Thought he meant

My summer flew by
Full of magic every year
Except for this one

Waiting for the call
To unlock the answer
Was your worry justified
Trying to think positive
Praying for a negative

My father would walk
In the door Christmas Eve
Weary from a long work day
Shaking the snow off
His old coat
Taking bags of candies
In the shape of stars
Out of his pockets
For his little girl
Save one for me
He said smiling
I thanked every star
For him

Dazzling memories
Dancing through my heart and mind
Of what might have been

She can be ice cold
Or so full of love and warmth
Your own cold heart melts

Is it you or me
We should be in love by now
What a mystery

I could walk away
From this connection of ours
I do not think you can

If it is frightening
To tell him that you love him
He is not your love

Just let your heart be
Stop trying to control it
Let it take the lead

What should I tell him
Here in magical limbo
On the brink of love

He reads my poems
As he loves another girl
Still I write for him

Your stories and lies
I can hardly decipher
What difference there is

Her indifference
Her absence of jealousy
Perplexes my heart

Forever baffled
By your insecurity
You are exquisite

My heartbroken tears
Were inevitably yours
From the day we met

Harboring Bukowski’s bluebird in my heart

Your paper thin promises broke both our hearts

A sprinkle of hope
And a splash of good fortune
With a dash of calm
·
Standing beside you
Playing it cool
My heart murmuring
With memories of us

A little candle
Spellbinding and beautiful
Could burn your world down

Intense greediness
Can creep up on you slowly
Strive to stay humble

Only one promise
In case of emergency
You are my contact

Write not for your critics
Real or imagined
Write for the person
Who needs your words
To find inspiration
To gain relief
To feel less alone
To make it through

Take off your lenses
Look at your world
See what it looks like
Without your past pain
Blurring your vision
Take in what you see
Live in that relief
For as long as you can

The sky is permanent
Our troubles are not
Lightning piercing
Through this darkness
Reminds us to fight fiercely
For the light of our world
To bring us back home

We live in the age
Of ignoring each other
No offense taken
From our lonely gaslit rooms

Put those hard to say
Out loud feelings to words
Or watch her go because
She simply did not know

She loved
His modest gift
Of a Christmas angel ornament

On a long dreary day
Being met with a bright smile
Like an unexpected rainbow
Will carry you through

The beast was blinded
By the love light in her eyes
She could sense his pain
As he turned away
He was built to attack her
Instead she had broken him
She was free to flee
Yet she chose to stay
Her eyes had reflected
Love hidden in his heart

I wish I marked the date
You last held me in your arms
I would turn back the pages of my calendar
To circle the date
Before our evolving love faded
By what could not survive distance
We would have broken our hearts
If we had become an us

Do not allow
Anyone’s assessment
Of who you are
Dictate your life
It is you alone
Who gets to decide

Nothing hurts me
More deeply
Than your indifferent
Heart

Come follow the light
I know you cannot see it
Let me be your guide

I feel like a child
To have to say it this way
You hurt my feelings

Her eyes glistened
With pent up tears
As she let go of him

Your dismissive
Do not worry
Stung more
Than his silence

She was a shadow
Of her former self
I held her frail hand
Watching her favorite film
She fell asleep before
Dorothy got to Oz
I gazed at the wilted roses
In her handcrafted vase
It was not summer anymore
I would soon have to watch
Seasons pass without her

I wonder
How many people
There are out there
Who think of each other
All the time every day
But do not speak
To each other anymore
And neither one
Could clearly tell you
Why

When you are silent
Your heart will speak to you
Listen and feel the answers
To the questions
You are afraid to admit
You need to ask yourself
To find the peace you seek

He felt like a waste
If only he could heal her
Love was not enough

In the movies
People DO things
No one stays stuck
Characters have to change
Do and say the scary things
To fight for the life they want
Your life is your movie
Live it that way

Even in my dreams
You do not understand me
We are losing us

Sleep is a drug.

Christmas never
Turned his heart to gold
She was the one
Haunted by ghosts
Who held no answers
Or guidance for her
Just left her wishing
She never took that walk
In that garden
That summer
With him
A decade ago

Our hope is not lost
Change is on the horizon
We created it

Absorb the relief
You are still afraid to feel
It is real

When you find yourself
Broken and beaten down
Beyond the reach of hope
Look to the sky
It’s beauty will rescue you

Let me take this burden
Off your shoulders
You are not alone
I have known depression
No one is immune

Standing beside you
Playing it cool
My heart murmuring
With memories of us

All I do is sleep all day
Trying to dream
My depression away

Dreams are visitors with answers
We forget by morning
Unless a premonition insists

I discovered my pent up feelings
Unraveling as your long overdue
Apology unfolded

I believe New Year’s Resolutions
Are now a notion of the past
With no consistency in life
How can we resolve to change
Let us grant ourselves permission
To simply be human together

My kitten adores
Tinsel on my Christmas tree
More than you do me

Love is an illusion
We all desperately
Need to believe in
I will if you do

I bid you adieu
Is my forced romantic phrase
Begging you to leave

When a person says
They are a sociopath
Believe them and leave

He was his own ventriloquist
Never saying how he felt
Instead he would just say
What would make him liked
Make people smile and laugh
Make people love him dearly
Never knowing the real him
A puppet on his own string
He was afraid to cut

My preacher man teacher

Played on repeat on my radio

As I drove away from him

I was a dark red lipstick

Wearing Mia Wallace

Who had better men

To dance with barefoot

Who needed that guy

Not a shining star like me

Though you never can tell

He is impossible to mentor
The frustrated old wizard
Balked as he thumped down
In his favorite worn out chair
In a dusty corner of the room
He saw three broken wands
From his mischievous youth
He was meant to teach
How to break the rules
When it could save a life

·

He wanted to end the ball
With only a glass slipper left
Then he spotted the maiden
In dirty rags with one shoe
He ran across the room
His heart pounding with joy
Thank heavens you returned
Thank my fairy godmother
She told me not to run from
Love

We held an unspoken
Agreement to keep quiet
Until the pandemic ended
Wait to be in person
As the months went by
We intentionally forgot
To contact each other
It was easier that way
A cabaret of emotions
Overcame me
When you called to say
I miss you

What magical energy
Has the power to heal
A broken man in despair
Most would say love
I would venture to say
A force even greater
Hope

What do you say
You wanna go all in
Dare to allow you
To break me
Dare to allow me
To break you
What do you say
You wanna go all in
We both been
Playing it safe
For longer than
Two people should
Maybe we are both
Ready for real love
What do you say
Do you want to go all in

She is not out of the woods
The doctor said solemnly
While quickly moving on
To the rest of his chaotic day
I did not fault him for that
So many people are not
May never be out of the woods

A life of perseverance
Is a life well lived
You have seen the dark
You have found the light
You have been wounded
You have healed yourself
You have lost and won
Endured highs and lows
You have lived a life
You fiercely loved
You never stopped
Fighting for it

I wonder if they lived
In the same time period
If Sylvia and Emily
Might have ditched
Marching funerals
Broke the bell jar
Found in their closely
Shared inner experience
Comfort and laughter
Now and then together
In the darkness