At a van I gazed

As it slowed to a stop

Such a happy dog

Barking through a closed window

I waved to him in the daze

Of the memory

Of a kinder summer night

Illness is a lonely business

Assuring others you are fine

Desperately simultaneously

Needing them there with you

While praying to be left alone

Anxiety is my dance partner
In the late night hours

Staring at the ceiling
Sleep lacks appeal

When there is nothing
No one to wake up to
Just another identical day

My restless heart praying
For a breakthrough
To set us all free

Sitting next to you

Without a single word

Had a way of erasing

All my troubles

Give me back my torn ticket
I want off this ride
I am done
With roller coasters

The dawn will break

No matter how dark the night

Even if you have lost your grasp

To swirling thoughts and tears

Forgetting who can help or how

I ask you one motionless favor

Sit and wait for the morning light


The sky is permanent

Our troubles are not

Lightning piercing

Through this darkness

Reminds us to fight
 fiercely
For the light of our world
To bring us back home

Look up to the stars

When you are lost and lonely

Millions of wishes granted

Floating above you

Shrug off the timeline

Dare to believe

Wish for our miracle

I hated winter
Until the seasonless days
Were all strung together
Into nothingness
If it is a winter day
When we are granted relief
From this deadly intruder
I will love winter eternally
For the ever warm memory
Of that blessed day

Feel that weight lifted
Off your shoulders
Feel that pent up
Angry energy dissipate
Feel the lightness
Of a miracle set in
You were always brave
Today you are at last free

Sometimes late at night

Reality hits

Like a ton of bricks

As sadness overtakes you

I will not leave you

When you are suffering

I will not leave you

When your heart is wrecked

I will not leave you

When you are gravely ill

I will not leave you

When you are devastated

When you are shattered

When you are on the brink

Of a permanent exit

I will never leave you

As human beings

I believe

We are here

To help

One another

Stay alive

If we stitched together

All our tears and fears

What a small swatch of fabric

We would hold in our hands

From all the overlapping

Our human hearts beat

For the same reason

To love and live

For as long as we can

There is a hurt inside of us all

Every person who you see

Is somewhere on the path

Of dealing with their pain

A wound finally healed

A heart recently broken

A trauma triggered

An illness resurfaced

A letting go of grief

An acceptance of a loss

A relatively okay day

A tentative sigh of relief

A return to nearly normal days

Whoever’s eyes you meet

Stranger, friend, or foe

You have the shared experience

Of surviving pain alone

Cheers to The brave hearts

The sweethearts

The sensitive souls

Wiser than their years

Kinder than they know

If you see their light dim

Grab their hand

With all the love you have

An empathy recharge

Will bring your hero back

Look for the light

In the daily darkness

If you cannot find it

Create the light

Lots of us are short on strength

If anyone out there

Has any strength to spare

Lend it to a friend

Offer it up in kind words

Pick up the phone and call

Send a thoughtful card

Say thank you

To the someones

Who have shaped your life

For the better

Given it meaning

Made you a better you

Amidst the daily horrors

I promise you they have forgotten

Take the strength you have

Suit up for a rescue

They need you out there

What I would give

For a single hug

Is immeasurable

Aimlessly awake

Anxiety beckons me

To answer questions

I never asked

Energy.

Everyone’s energy is off.

Too much.

With nowhere to direct it.

Too little.

With no way to generate it.

Exploding.

In anxiety or anger.

Imploding.

In depression or paralysis.

Depleting.

In loneliness or listlessness.

All of us.

The question…

Is how do we get our energy

Back to a good place?

Once again

No roadmap unavailable

But we must.

We just do.

You have permission

To feel your pain

In its entirety

Without apology

It does not make you

An ungrateful person

To be heartbroken

To be devastated

To be debilitated

To be enraged

To be shattered

To be in agony

To be hurt

You are allowed

You are human

Our future has always been

Unpredictable

Uncontrollable

Entirely out of our hands

Only nowadays

We are universally

Confronted by this

Unsettling reality

Every moment of every day

As we collectively

Wait to exhale

We are better served

To use our energy

To live in the now

For it is only

In this singular moment

We know what’s happening

Sometimes

No matter how much love

You are surrounded by

At 3AM

It’s just you and the ceiling

Battling your sad heart

Trying to unswirl your thoughts

There is an inescapable

Version of alone

We all have to face at times

Then is how and when

You learn who you aren’t

I wish I had an eraser

For today

For all that went wrong

But life does not work

That way I know

If only a sharp number two

And a little pink eraser dust

Could change the answers

All at once

But no such luck

When your heart and mind

Rest in united silence

Your answers find you

My love affair with sleep

Remains constantly consistent

Too many netherworld hours

I am entranced by nightly

As the day escapes me

Kindness makes me cry

With unexpected relief

I am not alone

Faded memories

Drifting alive gradually

My frightened soul

Fighting to remember

How to forget